Response Ready #2: How to Stay Calm When Challenged

Responding Thoughtfully When Someone Says "That's Not True"

We've all been there - you share an idea or perspective, and someone responds with a flat "that's not true." It's jarring, dismissive, and can instantly derail a productive conversation.

Instead of getting defensive or backing down, try these approaches:

1. "That does not align with what I know. Could you share your perspective?"

   Pro tip: Keep your voice calm and genuinely curious.

   Why it works:

   1. Diffuses tension by showing openness to their view

   2. Moves from confrontation to conversation

   3. Creates space for both perspectives to be heard

2. "Let's look at this together."

   Pro tip: Use this phrase as an invitation to collaborative exploration rather than a challenge.

   Why it works:

   1. Shifts from opposition to partnership

   2. Creates a shared goal of understanding

   3. Reduces defensive reactions

3. "Help me understand the differences in our perspectives."

   Pro tip: Keep your tone measured and professional to demonstrate genuine interest in the discussion. Your body language matters as much as your words - maintain open, relaxed posture to show you're genuinely interested in discussion

   Why it works:

   1. Sets a professional tone for exploring disagreement

   2. Creates space for structured discussion

   3. Positions the conversation as a dialogue rather than a debate

4. "What information are you basing that on?"

   Pro tip: Ask this with genuine curiosity rather than skepticism. Your tone can make the difference between defensiveness and dialogue.

   Why it works:

   1. Creates opportunity for fact-based discussion

   2. Helps identify the root of disagreement

   3. Shows respect for their reasoning process

An Example:

Them:

"That's not true - we can definitely deliver this project by next quarter."

You:

❌ "No we can't!" (escalates conflict). Instead, try:

✅ "That does not align with what I know. Could you share your perspective? I'd like to understand how you envision us meeting that timeline."

✅ "Let's look at this together. What assumptions are we making about team capacity and dependencies?"

✅ "Help me understand the differences in our perspectives. Which deliverables do you see fitting into next quarter?"

✅ "What information are you basing that on? I have our past project timelines here - they might help us create a realistic schedule."

Try these responses in your next challenging conversation and notice how they change the dynamic.